"You must give birth to your images.
They are the future waiting to be born...
fear not the strangeness you feel.
The future must enter into you long before it
happens..." Rainer Maria Rilke

Suzie Noel was a "love at first sight" child. Bonnie
has two grown sons from her first marriage. She and
her former husband both believed in zero population
growth. However, she had always longed for a daughter.
Finding Suzie was a fifty year prayer answered!
Michael, Bonnie's husband, had never had
children. While they were dating seven years ago,
Michael realized that he was ready to be a father.

Bonnie, being both a regular and special education
teacher had never thought she would adopt a child with
autism. She had worked with many students with
autism. Having a soft spot in her heart for all
special needs children she knew that a child coming
from The Special Needs Adoption Coalition, could
possibly have delays or a disability. Bonnie had had a
reading disability as a child (before there was
special education). She hadn't read until she repeated
third grade and "all of a sudden something clicked and
one day I started reading!"

After the State of Oregon Foster Care System gave them
the go, they waited exactly nine months! They thought
they would find their forever daughter through
P.L.A.N. (Plan Loving Adoptions Now), the agency they
were working with. However, it was in the local
newspaper that they first saw Suzie. Once Bonnie saw
Suzie's big beautiful brown eyes, "the windows to the
soul", she knew with a "knowing beyond knowing" that
this was the child she had been waiting for.

The newspaper article said Suzie had autism.
Immediately Bonnie's special education mind told her
that on the autism spectrum scale it was on the mild
side. In the photo Suzie was looking almost directly
into the camera with a big smile on her face! Bonnie
knew that sometimes it just takes a deep abiding
belief and faith that one can make a difference in a
child's life. The disability really doesn't matter if
one first sees the child as whole and complete unto
themselves and accepts them for the beautiful and
unique being of God they are. Once one does that,
miracles happen.

On what Bonnie calls a belief deep inside her beyond
any doubt, she knew Suzie and her were to find each
other in this life time. Her husband Michael, wasn't
quite as convinced. Never being a father or educator,
he had a lot of fear and resisted.
Bonnie realizing this, asked God for a sign to help
her truly know if she had found the right child.

Upon returning from celebrating their second wedding
anniversary, one week after they initially saw Suzie
in the newspaper, she appeared in their PLAN
newsletter! This was the sign Bonnie had been waiting
for. When she opened the newsletter and saw Suzie, now
in full color and with more information, deep earthy
motherly sobs came from her and she dropped to her
knees. When Michael came into the room, he helped her
up off the floor. After Bonnie composed herself she
told him that without a doubt in her whole being, she
knew this was the child that God wanted them to have.

Seeing the profound effect this child had on Bonnie,
Michael said he would think and pray about it and give
her a decision in the morning. When morning came and
they rolled over to greet each other Michael confessed
that he had barely slept. He told her he knew in his
heart of hearts that he believed in Bonnie's higher
womanly intuition, she had never led him astray, and
although he was scared and felt he was getting in way
over his head, he was willing to say yes. He wanted
Bonnie to go ahead and call the agency that day and
let them know that they wanted to be put on the
hopeful "forever family" list.

The list already had twenty five other hopeful parents
on it. Bonnie's case worker said they would let her
know in about three weeks who the three final families
would be. From there they would chose the family who
could meet Suzie's needs the best. During this waiting
period Bonnie would light a candle each day and pray
and visualize this beautiful little angel gracing
their home. She held, without doubt, that this little
girl was truly to be her fifty year prayer answered.
She believed so strongly that when she showed Suzie's
picture to family and friends, she told them that this
was their daughter. She had never in her life been
more certain, without a doubt, that this child truly
was theirs.

So when the call came, three weeks later, that they
had been chosen as one of the final three families
Bonnie rejoiced and said, "Thank you God, now it's
time to put my faith into action!" She then started
putting together the scrap book that the final State
of Oregon Adoption Committee or jury would look at.
This photo album would tell about what type of home
and lifestyle the Duncan-Winn's led. She also got on
the phone and called up the foster mother and got to
know what ever she could about Suzie. She was unable
to meet Suzie but she did get to talk to her on the
phone.

It was hard to understand Suzie on the phone because
out of the twenty words she knew, most of them were
inaudible. So the song that her own grandfather and
father had sung to her, "You Are My Sunshine" was the
song Bonnie sang to Suzie each time she called. The
first time she did the foster mother got back on the
line and in a teary voice told her that she was the
only perceptive parent who had ever sung to one of her
"babies". She told Bonnie that Suzie loved music and
singing and had listened to every word!

Three weeks after that they received the call from the
Plan Loving Adoptions Now that they indeed had been
chosen as the "best fit" for Suzie. Bonnie was
fifty-four, semi retired from teaching, with lots of
time and energy to devote to Suzie. So on Michael's
fiftieth birthday, with him having to work, Bonnie got
to meet Suzie for the first time! She still remembers
Suzie being held by her foster father, as a
frightened, wild child, arching her head back and
screaming. Bonnie vividly remembers before she even
got out of the car that she took a moment to access
the situation. Her first reactive thought was, "Oh, my
God, what have I done?" In the next instant she knew
God would not lead her astray and that all she needed
to have was faith, for all was truly in divine order.

This child was hers and a beautiful gift from God.
"Yet by the grace of God go I", she affirmed in her
heart. She felt renewed energy and got out of the car
asking the foster father to bring Suzie inside the
home instead of giving Suzie to her. Once inside the
home Suzie calmed down yet wanted nothing to do with
Bonnie. So Bonnie simply "joined" or mirrored what
Suzie did and within an hours time a bond had been
formed and a love that would last a life time had been
born.

The first thing Bonnie did after Suzie came to live
with them was get her in to see a naturopath, who put
her on herbs for her kidneys and liver, digestive
enzymes, liquid calcium, zinc, magnesium, and added
lots of healthy supplements to her diet. He also said
she should eat only organic foods and be on a wheat
and dairy free diet. The doctor put her on a keylation
treatment to rid her body of heavy metals. Bonnie also
knew about the philosophy of "joining" that the Option
Institute, Son-Rise Program, in Sheffield,
Massachusetts teaches. She incorporated that also into
Suzie's daily routine. Within a very short period of
time Suzie was no longer constipated, became more
verbal, was a lot happier in her moods, and started
"joining" their world more. Bonnie also enrolled her
into an early intervention program and in a private
preschool where Bonnie was friends with the owner.
Suzie was potty and bowled trained and weaned from her
bottle five months later. Suzie was then enrolled in
music therapy classes and dance lessons. Bonnie used
sensory integration and vestibular intervention also
with Suzie.

Today, Suzie swims, ice skates, does gymnastics, loves
to dance and sing, loves acting, is a natural drama
queen and story teller, memorizing the whole book! She
is also very social, adores her friends, reads eighty
words per minute, and loves school. She also is a
budding artist. Bonnie is the president of Suz-Line, a
small budding card, calendar, poster, and affirmation
book company, and her passion is promoting her
daughter's profound artistic talents.

To all of Bonnie's, Michael's, and Suzie's friends and
family this is truly a miracle story of:

"Faith sees the invisible,
Believes the incredible
And receives the possible". Anonymous

Questions or comments about this story may be
addressed to:
duncanbonnie@yahoo.com
Plan Loving Adoptions Now may be contacted directly at:
503.242.1467
PO Box 667, McMinnville, OR 97128
planlovingadoptions.org